you want my gonnorhea.

dear god,

2005-06-01T21:36:54Z

im outspoken when no ones around. my tears break the silence. do you pity me because im confused? i pity myself. im so lost. do you know whats its like? do you know whats its like to know too much, yet so little at the same time? so much about things youll never completely understand. not without dying first...instead im stuck here. dying inside. with a loss of words. i need one answer, not a million. one thought at a time please. my feet stumble, my mouth fumbles the words around but they never come out. not the right way anyways. so could you help me please? do me one simple favor. just take it all away. all of it. this knowledge is a burdon. my thoughts consume me. eat me fucking alive...from the inside out. and its hurting me, and most of all the people i love. im stuck with the apologies, the arugements, this contagious, vicious fucking cycle we call life. im sick of it all. so do yourself a favor, as well as myself, help me take this pain away, for now, if not forever, before you lose another precious soul to a coffin that wasnt ready yet.

...its cold 6 feet under </3 love, michelle

goodbye

2005-05-22T23:40:25Z

my throat is closing and im going to die.

stuff...

2005-05-19T20:31:07Z

ok ive been gone. a while. sorry.

ever watched thats how myth busters? ever see the one where they tried to prove that a cd couldnt explode in a computer? well i just proved it fucking right. so i put in my fav mixed cd that corey burned me my freshman year of highschool. such a badass cd. r.i.p. < / 3 and i turn my head to pick a song to play, and BOOM. my ear drum is shot and theres tiny glittering shards of glass twinkling about my desk and floor. and my face, which dell is scared of cuz muh mama sue yo ass.

haha no, but we very well could have, instead i got a new disk drive TWEEDLE DEE DEE!

sooooo i missed my puter for a few days....

so me and my mom are talking again...that took a while. but im glad were on good terms, for now anyways...but the cops came and took my brother away the other day. he stayed in foster care for a few days. hes a dick, but we wont get into that. things are going ok now i suppose, well see how long this lasts...ugh

< 3 me and joe are official now, i guess? or so we have been for like a week, BUT YOU DIDNT KNOW THAT NOW DID YOU?! i heart you josephine.

joe has a best friend named james?! YES! and i have a best friend named heather as well. and do you know what i thought would be cool? if they madeout. OH WAIT THEY ALREADY DID. k lets all get married now thx.

FOURSOME. ORGY.

FOURGY

we tried to go camping. T R I E D being the key word here. the lake was full. how does that happen? fuck the desert. its too fucking hot everyone just migrates to the same place. and for all of this, i get a flat tire. were all sittin there, fuckin side of the road, like an 1/8 of chronic and like a fucking 30 pack, and aloooooot of fire wood. and some bitch ass highway patrol fucker just drives by. were stranded, and he just DRIVES BY. what an asshole! thank god for assholes i dont want to go to jail this early!

we have all hung out so much in the past week. i dont think ive ever smoked so much weed in my life?! all this inhaling of illegal substances has gotten me used to...inhaling illegal substances. i need a switch. if anyone can seel me a cheap bag - o - schwag to lay off this chronic business, that would be neat. cool....

i bought a new water pipe to go along with my new found liking of chronic. hits like a champ. its like a mini bong!? someones a fucking genious.

i am currently accepting applications...
postiton : friend
requirements : nice, laid back, weed smoking, anti-drama practicing, sociable, loveable human being. NONE OF YOU GOD DAMN FAKERS!
job description : hanging out gettin crunk in hurr. yea thats all.

i have a long history of dramatical events, i need NOT anymore. thx.

i got asked to start working full time in june. WOOPA! im gonna make BANK. therefore, i need a place to live. other than where i am now. that would be nice, and due to some douchebags living with james, he should get a new place too. and hey! we could make it the same place?! omfg what a thought?!

my birfdays coming up! hit the donation button on my profile page to make me smile? :)

joes birthday is here too??????? shiiiiiit, wtf do you get boys for presents?! FUCK

anywho, this is getting too long. yes by far. so goodbye.

stop reading...

NOW.

your paying too much attention to detail my friend.

2005-05-05T01:17:18Z

wow how long was that? a week? i think i could probably set a record for the amount of moodswings had in a week or so.

...indecisive to the CORE.

happy? NOT

manic depressant? well id hate to psuedo diagnose myself, but if i had a degree id say thats what it was...or maybe im bi polar...fucking schitzo!? jesus. all i know is something. SOMETHING, is very wrong here...no ones supposed to feel this way so much. < / 3

its all in your head. its all in your head. its all in your head. all the little details. there all in your head.

acient egyptians used to belive that when one was sad so often, the evil must have taken over, so they decapitated the victim of such demons...

im just kidding i made that up...but it sounds like a good idea haha

lifes not fair...

2005-04-28T10:19:34Z

you know that feeling when you tell yourself your not gonna do something again, and then you do it, and it feels soooo goooood....yea. i fucking did it. im in the mood for some temporary lovin'...

- the heartache at the end

that part always sucks. maybe if i play this hand like it was my last, things wont be so temporary :O

he makes me smile x's 98324732748327468792569438592134879324893284932489393932.38724 anyways...shits and giggles?! i might as well get whats good before its gone again...ugh < 3

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-26T18:23:00

2005-04-27T01:25:14Z

I COULD GO FOR ANOTHER CUP O' COFFAY!

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-26T06:37:00

2005-04-26T13:39:38Z

i havent been to sleep yet?!

i had a wonderful evening. yes...it was...

im eating two huge peices of french toast and a big cup of coffee....and im smiling < 3 and thats one thing that doesnt come around here too often...

thanks < 3

uh huh huh uh huh uh huh huh uhhhh huh huh....

2005-04-25T05:31:16Z

this time around,i thought i found, someone who meant what they said, beyond four letters... says:
WHOA
this time around,i thought i found, someone who meant what they said, beyond four letters... says:
this lighter almost just lew my face off
this time around,i thought i found, someone who meant what they said, beyond four letters... says:
jesus if it was facing me it would have storched an eye out

im so fucking high. and im so sick!? my nose is so runny it feels like my heads numb...fuuuuck

joe wants to play "dancer" hes a douche.
<3

i got a second job. in sales promotion. at my same other job, the gym. woo. i call people and i say:

hello his is michelle from the bullhead healthclub, today for our 3 year anniversery we are calling a few of our local residants and the first person to answer the phone wins a free trial membership.

and guess what?

YOUR ONE OF THEM!

CONGRADULATIONS!!

so if i call your house...just hang up
haha

ok bye

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-22T01:12:00

2005-04-22T08:13:40Z

so like, i did alot of shit today. whoa.
i went to work, blah blah! i picked up leah and we got STONED. one bowl dude...this weed let me tell you, i have never ever been so joyful <3 its fantastic, and we got a BUNCH

$70 we are so blessed <3
went to hand out flyers in laughlin and oh dear it was hawt. people are lazy. they wont even hold a fucking flyer. then we saw corey. then we got money and left. to chinese food. FAT?! yessuh.... then i dressed liek a hooker and took leah home and came back. and i was SUPPOSED to find corey, but fucking too much happened. i got lost and had to borrow cell phones to try to call people. but then i ran into some people i met earlier and they invited me to come schmoke. why would i say no? ha there hawt too. damn...then he bought me some gas, and pumped it for me! i was in total awe?! who does that anymore...now im home, talking to him online. bahahaha

i had a good nite.

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-19T23:59:00

2005-04-20T07:06:28Z

i got hooked the fuck up tonite. i <3 corey. i went to laughlin tosee him, and his brother was in town, so that was cool, and they let me eat at the sushi bar with them, ive never been into one of those?! it was fucking good! then we walked around and no one would give me a cigarette?! i just wanted one :X
then they went to the gas station and they bought me some green apple smirnoff like 32ozs, oh dear i drank it all, in a water bottle. it was neat. met a hawt brazilian girl. holy crap...then we went and got high...that was cool too...now im home fuck

< 3

2005-04-17T23:37:13Z

i spent a drunk nite with him last nite. i went with leah and heather to some peoples house and we drank and i was buzzzzzzing. and then i got hiiiiiigh.

he went out with his friends and got wasted, then we both met up at his house eventually...after i drove all the way home of course.

i dont think ive ever had so much fun cuddling...all nekid n stuff. he claims he doesnt remember most of it, but ill remind him :P

again and again....

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-14T13:04:00

2005-04-14T20:08:37Z

Bukk4k3wh0r3: omfg
Bukk4k3wh0r3: my ears smell worse than an elderly mans ballsack
Bukk4k3wh0r3: even when dangled back and touching the shithole
Bukk4k3wh0r3: they dont smell as bad as ear cheese
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: o0o0o0o
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: that makes meh hottt
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: old ballbaggage

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-12T20:06:00

2005-04-13T02:10:08Z

you know why im most upset?

your the only one. the only whos ever been so god damn honest. it may have taken you a while, but at least you said it. the only one who hasnt lied, or cheated, or fucked me over in some demented way. the only one i truely can say i really cared about, and the only one ive lost and missed so fucking much.

im sorry...i love you.

< / 3

ugh

2005-04-11T20:26:46Z

alot has happened. alot i dont remember...

i almost flipped my car?! yea that was scarey i remember that. i totally lost copntrol on this long patch of dirt and almost flew over a cliff but i turned the wheel all hard and i did like 94 360's instead.

i woke up yesterday and my nose wasnt peirced anymore. i found my nose ring on my bed. the mother fucker was all trying to close!?? i shoved it back in so hard. after all that, no way its gonna close. omg my eyes watered so bad.

i still stand with the same statement. boys are fucking dumb. thank you....
no need for explanation i think its obvious in almost every case.

im sick of having a < / 3

ok someone post and make me smile n stuff. thx

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-09T07:04:00

2005-04-09T02:06:12Z

What you see's not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there
Your eyes they sparkle
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't care

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

Sometimes shattered
Never open
Nothing matters
When you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending
Always over
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster
I am breaking
That habit
Today

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe
Take the hint and walk away
'Cause I'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone

What you see's not what you get
What you see's not what you get

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Oh, I'm already gone, gone, gone, gone
Already gone
I'm gone

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-09T04:58:00

2005-04-09T00:16:23Z

iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: poor rabbit
Bukk4k3wh0r3: i almost hit a quail today < / 3 in the exact spot i hit the bunny
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: GOOD
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: quials are GAY
Bukk4k3wh0r3: and the car behind me almost hit me cuz i slowed down so much
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: quails*
Bukk4k3wh0r3: yea
Bukk4k3wh0r3: have i ever told you about those assholes?!
Bukk4k3wh0r3: their either really fucking stupid
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: ?
Bukk4k3wh0r3: or really fucking smart
Bukk4k3wh0r3: they fuck with you
Bukk4k3wh0r3: they dont cross the street until they see a car
Bukk4k3wh0r3: and if you slow down
Bukk4k3wh0r3: so do they
Bukk4k3wh0r3: if you speed up...so do they
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: kill em!
Bukk4k3wh0r3: so you go back and forth with them
Bukk4k3wh0r3: like when your walking and someone else is walking and your about to run into each other
Bukk4k3wh0r3: but you both keep moving in the same direction?!
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: id run em over
Bukk4k3wh0r3: i couldnt
Bukk4k3wh0r3: < / 3
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: i would!
Bukk4k3wh0r3: but they are deserving of it at times
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: kill em all
iAtEyOuRoVaRiEs: ALL

so i was on hold for 30 mins with the doctors office today. and then they hung up on me....
and when i called back not even 30 seconds later...i got a recording, telling me that they are now closed.

FUCK RECEPTIONISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they never do their god damn jobs, and now that ive procrastinated 6months of not calling the doctor, i guess ill have to wait another 6 months just to schedule an appointment.

i got so mad at life today, i just cried. i cried me a fucking river that i wish i could have drown in. thanks leah, thats a good one. it fits me well. i do enough crying to drown the whole world...

i got black tears on my new work shirt. cool. my eyes are all tiny now...and my nose is stuffy. i reckon that wont go away for like a week. do i fucking complain alot or what?! I DONT GIVE A FUCK! YOUR THE STUPID ASS THATS STILL READING1 IM JUST RANTING!

i cant seem to make up my mind about anything. ive never been so indecisive before. its fucking gay. everything just seems so confusing now. no matter what it is, my heads always clouded...and then i cry. what if somethings wrong. some kind of fucked up diagnoses. "michelle, your clinically depressed, here take some prozac." OH GEE DOC I FEEL LOADS BETTER NOW, ILL JUST SUPRESS IT SOME MORE UNTIL I MURDER MYSELF. how quaint is life.

im waiting for aunt flow. shes a fucking cunt. im going to slice her stomache open and remove her every womanly organ and watch her bleed to death, for all the days she has made me so uncomfortable. yea....

fuck you.
fuck your mom.
fuck your dog skipper in the butt with a peice of nailed plywood. HARD!
fuck life...
im done trying.
goodnite some more...

your fat when...

2005-04-08T04:23:32Z

you get a salad from mc donalds, and then a cup of soup and a six inch turkey on honey oat from subway to top it off.

obesity is a disease. sick...

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-08T04:02:00

2005-04-07T23:04:53Z

so last nite i was driving home really stoned and out pops a bunny...rip peter < / 3

boys haunt me?! your all out to get me?! KNOCK IT OFF! I HATE YOU ALL! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR PENISES!

ok not.

but still < / 3!

i dont know what else to say. gahd.

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-07T04:43:00

2005-04-06T23:43:53Z

i wanna get really high and forget that i exist.

< / 3 my song to you.....

2005-04-05T22:17:12Z

Now it seems to me
that you know just what to say
but words are only words
can you show me something else
can you swear to me
that you'll always be this way
show me how you feel
more than ever baby

I don't want to be lonely no more
I don't want to have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
just another heart ache on my list
I don't want to be angry no more
you know I could never stand for this
so when you tell me you love me
know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

now its hard for me
when my heart still on the mend
open up to me
like you do your girlfriends
and you sing to me
and its hardly
know what you do to me
its everything anything
just to get you back again
why can't we just try

I don't want to be lonely no more
I don't want to have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
it's just another heart ache on my list
I don't want to be angry no more
you know I could never stand for this
so when you tell me that you love me
know for sure
I don't want to be lonly anymore

what if I was good to you
what if you were good to me
what if I could hold you until I feel you move inside of me
what if it was paradise
what if we were a symphony
what if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

I don't want to be lonely no more
I don't want to have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
it's just another heart ache on my list
I don't want to be angry no more
you know I could never stand for this
so when you tell me that you love me
know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

...i still wanna be your special someone < 3

michelle_jean @ 2005-04-03T13:34:00

2005-04-03T20:38:02Z

Bukk4k3wh0r3: and i left
Bukk4k3wh0r3: and cried the whole way home
Bukk4k3wh0r3: and i was going 80 in a 50
Bukk4k3wh0r3: and flew by a cop
Bukk4k3wh0r3: and i wanted him to pull me over so bad just so when he asked what was wrong with me i could tell someone

fuck vegas drivers.

2005-04-02T20:14:40Z

last nite was too much to handle. we missed underoath. who knew? were fucking gay. but we shopped instead. i spent all my money on clothes and mac makeup. i think i ate bad sushi. i almost passed out. i got so dizzy and my stomache hurt so bad. i had the shakes. ew. we walked on the strip and yelled at hooker models in the back of a jeep. then we got lost. i guess i was sposed to get on the south 515...NOT the i-15 north. riiiight. so were on our way to primn towards LA. groovy. we were so fucking gone dude. like 329048320984023894 miles away from where we should have been. all my gas is almost gone, and im broke, cuz i HAD to shop. oh man.

i miss someone. < 3 bleh...i really had so much to type but i seriously forgot.
ok bye.

i forgot to add this shit.

2005-04-01T22:12:54Z

archangelic jojo: werd
Bukk4k3wh0r3: :-)
Bukk4k3wh0r3: http://www.livejournal.com/users/michelle_jean/
Bukk4k3wh0r3: oh yea i found my long lost friend from years ago too...
archangelic jojo: holy shit
archangelic jojo: that's a long post
Bukk4k3wh0r3: raven, shes like my fucking sister, and i believe i finally found her, she ran away like a year or so ago
Bukk4k3wh0r3: but i fucking found her < 3 im so thrilled, im waiting for her to call sometime this week, ill shit my pants.

yesterday should have been a scarey dream.

2005-04-01T22:02:54Z

i had the wierdest day yesterday. oh man. yea ive been fucked up lately but this was just weird. in some kind of good ways i guess. which is cool, cuz any more days of being fucked up would have killed me. or at least i would have hoped so :x

soooo....i was somewhat right about the bf situation. i scared him and im so sorry for that. i get too attatched and i come off as um, psychotic? haha yea. thats me. isnt that fantastic. so...were on a "break"

have you ever seen that episode of friends? where rachel tells ross she wants a break. and then ross 'accidentily' slept with the hawt chick from the photo copy place? and then rachel comes over to tell ross she still loves him, while the photo copy chick was still there, even tho rachel didnt know ywt. but she finds out, and every 29th episode or so, rachels like, "oh yea well you slept with that one chick" and then ross is like "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!@#@#%^%@@#"

...i dont want to end up that way < / 3 how miserable. i do love him. just enough that i would be deeply upset by the matter of us not only taking a slight break, but us breaking it off for good. ugh that shouldnt happen, but if it does its for the better i imagine, cuz he wouldnt be happy right? and if one isnt happy, then it just isnt right. it wasnt meant to be. but omg. i want it to be :(

i dont know. im going to deal with it as best as i can i spose. i < 3 him, and ill give him all the time in the world. just so long i dont lose him for good.if in case we do break up, WE SHOULD STILL BE FRIENDS GOD DAMMIT :) that would be neat cuz that never works. bleh.

so after i left the bf's house with all this splendid news, i headed down to leahs. but on the way i saw a cat. in the road, glaring up at me. and i was like naaah...and kept driving, then i was like WAIT A TICK!?@# *slams on breaks, spins around and puts it in park* i totally ran after this cat like i was starving and it was the last peice of meat on earth, even tho id never eat a honeeeey!

and she ran up the mountain and into the desert, and i yelled EMO!!!! and she turned and looked at me. and i yelled HONEEEEY! and she said "merrow" and i said HONEEEEY! and i ran up and picked her up and she was still pregnant from when she ran away from heathers house almost 3 weeks ago? oh. my. god. she was so happy to see a person. she is SO skinny.

so i drive her to leahs to go to heathers but heeather isnt home and leahs dads a douchebag so we sat in my car with her until heather got back. but in the meantime. she decided to start giving birth on my floor mat on the drivers side of my car :) wonderful. first two popped out, then we managed to get her to heathers finally, and she had 5 more. ones dead. R.I.P.

and on and on and on...the day should have ended before it started. it would have saved my head some space and aches.

anyways, im on to today. it was ok i guess, better than most i spose. im glad too, cuz i just cant take this shit anymore. oh well. im really hoping for the best. and again im SO sorry to those ive hurt/pissed off/ignored while i was going through this. even tho half of the people i hurt dont even go online. IM SORRY

ill keep in touch...yea

more stuff...

2005-03-31T20:51:16Z

Ill keep you deep inside. says:
watch
michelle jean. says:
i messaged you like 3904832 times at work
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
not uh
michelle jean. says:
yuh huh
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i didnt have ne messages
michelle jean. says:
:(
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
what did u say
michelle jean. says:
i said
michelle jean. says:
im going to drive my carr off a moutain
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
stfu
michelle jean. says:
then i said FUCKING TALK TO ME WHEN IM BEING SO IRRATIONAL
michelle jean. says:
then i said < / 3
michelle jean. says:
and :(
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
aww
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i never got them!
michelle jean. says:
brandons sposeably coming over after he gets off work
michelle jean. says:
and i belive hes going to do it
michelle jean. says:
he wouldnt talk to me about anything on the phone
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
going to break up with u
michelle jean. says:
so he said to get online when i got home last nite
michelle jean. says:
so i did
michelle jean. says:
then i fell asleep and he got offline and called me
michelle jean. says:
and still wouldnt talk to me about anything
michelle jean. says:
so he said hed come over after work
michelle jean. says:
and we hung up
michelle jean. says:
< / 3
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
oh jeez
michelle jean. says:
the tone of his voice
michelle jean. says:
its not right
michelle jean. says:
its all too fucking familiar
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
maybe he just wants to talk about shit and get it straight
michelle jean. says:
he either cheated on me, or wanted to, or he just wants to break up
michelle jean. says:
yea right
michelle jean. says:
i know how this shit works now
michelle jean. says:
its happened so many fucking times
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i dont think he would break up with you
michelle jean. says:
next time i think i like someone tell me NO@
michelle jean. says:
i think hes going to
michelle jean. says:
i can feel it
michelle jean. says:
and im going to pewk
michelle jean. says:
< / 3
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
< 3
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
well i wont break up with you
michelle jean. says:
leah i feel so shitty im scared and i dont know what to do
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
im sorry.:( i duno what to tell you..
michelle jean. says:
i honestly feel like theres no reason for me to even be here anymore
michelle jean. says:
alive or dead or anywhere
michelle jean. says:
i just wanna disappear
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
oh shut up
michelle jean. says:
im not fucking kidding dude
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
over btard
michelle jean. says:
no
michelle jean. says:
not just him
michelle jean. says:
over my whole fucking life
michelle jean. says:
over this fucking house and this crazy family
michelle jean. says:
everyones fake
michelle jean. says:
over my stupidity and my jobs
michelle jean. says:
and people
michelle jean. says:
and brandon
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i know chelle but you know it always gets bad.. then it gets better
michelle jean. says:
does it
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
shit happens.. you cant kill yourself over it
michelle jean. says:
whats the point it just gets bad again
michelle jean. says:
over and over and over
michelle jean. says:
i dont have the guts to kill myself
michelle jean. says:
i wish id get hit by a truck tho
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i duno i have a shitty live too and im not killing myself
michelle jean. says:
maybe i care more than you do
michelle jean. says:
im thinking too much
michelle jean. says:
but i cant stop
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
no
michelle jean. says:
and thats why im so scared
michelle jean. says:
:(
michelle jean. says:
i keep breaking down and crying
michelle jean. says:
like everyday
michelle jean. says:
i have to leave the house so no one sees me
michelle jean. says:
i go to your house
michelle jean. says:
then i leave so you dont see me
michelle jean. says:
and think im fucking weird
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
your not
michelle jean. says:
i cant talk to my mom
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i do it too
michelle jean. says:
i can talk to brandon i freak him out when i cry
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i have no one to talk to either
michelle jean. says:
cant*
michelle jean. says:
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
itll be fine
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
give it some time
michelle jean. says:
i used to feel like i had it all, even tho it wasnt much i was happy...whered it all go
michelle jean. says:
< / 3
michelle jean. says:
i honestly dont think its gonna be fine anymore
michelle jean. says:
i really dont
michelle jean. says:
i dont alk to my mom anymore
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i know you dont think so but it will
michelle jean. says:
i woke up this morning and everyone was yelling
michelle jean. says:
lance was being a dick and screaming how he hates it here
michelle jean. says:
and he wants my mom to give him up for adoption
michelle jean. says:
and she was screaming she cant take it anymore
michelle jean. says:
then jacquie started in
michelle jean. says:
and i ran out and went to work
michelle jean. says:
then i found out i missed the meeting last nite so when jana got there she was like whats up michelle, and i just told her i dont feel very welli think shes gonna fire me soon
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
8-) jees
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
noooo
michelle jean. says:
yea
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
over one meeting
michelle jean. says:
yea
michelle jean. says:
i dont smile enough
michelle jean. says:
or greet the members enough
michelle jean. says:
and i cant remeber shit dude
michelle jean. says:
and i keep fucking up phonecalls
michelle jean. says:
i suck so bad
michelle jean. says:
i cant do any job right i fucking hate having a job
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
so do i
michelle jean. says:
at least youc an keep yours
michelle jean. says:
for more than a month
michelle jean. says:
or even a week
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
ha not
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i quit the ew after 3 days
michelle jean. says:
one job
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
and i got fired from kq
michelle jean. says:
you were at bk for over a year
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
and now i dont even have a job
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
yeah but we were all there a while
michelle jean. says:
ive had like 320984302984 jobs
michelle jean. says:
i was there 3 months
michelle jean. says:
i was at yogurts plus for 3 months
michelle jean. says:
colorado belle for 2 months
michelle jean. says:
bk again for like 3 weeks
michelle jean. says:
dirt n skate lasted like 2 weeks
michelle jean. says:
bk at the flamingo was like 3 days
michelle jean. says:
i suck
michelle jean. says:
< / 3
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
no
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i duno
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
but its not cuz you suck
michelle jean. says:
rght
michelle jean. says:
it feels that way you begin to think its your fault after that many times of leaving
michelle jean. says:
oh yea the movie theater didnt last too long wither
michelle jean. says:
but that was NOT my fault :(
michelle jean. says:
they just hated me for some reason
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
cuz you end up working with stupid bitches
michelle jean. says:
WHY
michelle jean. says:
HOW!?
michelle jean. says:
wtf...
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i dont kinow
michelle jean. says:
what did id o to deserve so much fucking drama
michelle jean. says:
i really wanna know
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
:S
michelle jean. says:
i have to go rinse my hair in a few mins
michelle jean. says:
then im gonna take a shower
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
ok
michelle jean. says:
in case he does show up later
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
im goin into town with my mom
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i have to get dressed
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
but ill call you later ok
michelle jean. says:
ok
michelle jean. says:
ok
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
< 3
michelle jean. says:
< / 3
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i know you dont believe it but it will bo ok < 3 you still have your best friends and were not going ne where
michelle jean. says:
:(
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
member when i ripped my pants last night
. Ill keep you deep inside. says:
i was so sacred/pissed